tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-77793189296450236352023-08-21T16:29:26.610+05:00Keep RelationshipsCrAzY mAnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14141815023194580158noreply@blogger.comBlogger118125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7779318929645023635.post-19944260559925267162011-06-20T17:41:00.002+05:002011-06-20T17:42:14.950+05:00Herbs used in curries can spice things up in the bedroom<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://keeprelationships.blogspot.com/2011/06/herbs-used-in-curries-can-spice-things.html"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 432px; height: 341px;" src="http://www.homehues.com/userfiles/2011/6/20/images/Herbs%20used%20in%20curries%20can%20spice%20things%20up%20in%20the%20bedroom.jpg" alt="Herbs used in curries can spice things up in the bedroom" border="0" /></a>A herb widely used in curries may also help spice things up outside of the kitchen. New research suggests that fenugreek, which is found throughout Asia, may improve male libido. According to a trial by the Centre for Integrative Clinical and Molecular Medicine in Australia, men who took a twice daily extract of the herb saw significant improvements in their love life. Low libido is a problem for many men and the cause of much anxiety. One study based on 25,000 people in 30 countries, estimated that it affects about 18 per cent of men.<br /><div class="fullpost"><br />Not to be confused with impotence or infertility, low libido is described as a lack of interest in sexual activity, low sex drive, or lack of urge or desire. It is linked to depression, being overweight, and excessive alcohol intake. Some illnesses, including diabetes, and drugs including some antidepressants, may also contribute to a decline in sexual desire.<br /><br />Over the centuries, many herbs and other traditional preparations have been used to boost sex drive, but few claims have survived the rigours of clinical studies. This new study looked at the effects of a fenugreek-based preparation on the libido of men aged 25 to 52 who took the extract twice a day for six weeks, while another group had a placebo pill. Within six weeks, measures of libido had increased by 25 per cent or more in the men who had the fenugreek extract, but stayed the same or decreased in the other men.<br /><br />The men were required to answer a survey describing their level of libido and desire with a special scoring system to analyse changes after three and six weeks. The scores of the men who had the fenugreek all went up, with improvements recorded after just 21 days. After six weeks, the score for sexual arousal rose from 16.1 to 20.6 in the men taking the fenugreek preparation, but was just 16.6 in the placebo group.<br /><br />It’s not clear how the herb works, but fenugreek seeds contain bioactive compounds which may have some effect on hormone levels because they are rich in compounds called saponins, including one called diosgenin. Research suggests this may be involved in the production of a number of sex hormones. ‘It probably works to increase testosterone or androgen levels, which decrease with age,’ says Dr Raj Persad, consultant neurologist. ‘If it’s proven to be safe, this is good news. Men with good sexual health live longer than those who without.’<br /></div>CrAzY mAnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14141815023194580158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7779318929645023635.post-62648432725654570982011-04-13T16:25:00.001+05:002011-04-13T16:25:27.593+05:00A wandering eye: Good for your relationship?<a href="http://keeprelationships.blogspot.com/2011/04/wandering-eye-good-for-your.html" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 300px;" src="http://www.keeprelationships.com/userfiles/2011/4/13/images/A%20wandering%20eye%20Good%20for%20your%20relationship.jpg" border="0" alt="A wandering eye: Good for your relationship?" /></a>Forbidden fruit may be sweet, as the old saying goes, but it can sure sour a relationship. Still, a new study suggests that if your partner's eye wanders, it might be best to just let him or her enjoy the view. Here, a guide to the research:<br /><br />What was the study about?<br />Researchers tested the idea that we want what we can't have by conducting experiments on college students in various stages of romantic relationships. In a report published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, the researchers say that "reining in a wandering eye leads people to devalue commitment and remember cute strangers better" — the same way "people want jobs they cannot have, salaries they cannot earn, and cars they cannot afford." That means that "you may want to think twice before slapping your boyfriend on the wrist for cocking his head at that hot girl who just walked by," says Andrea Uku at StyleCaster.<br /><div class="fullpost"><br />How was the research conducted?<br />In one experiment, 42 undergrads were shown pairs of faces on a computer screen; each pair consisted of an arguably attractive person and a more average-looking person. Some of the students had their attention subtly diverted from the more attractive faces. This group subsequently reported that they were less satisfied in their relationships and more open to infidelity than the other testees. A similar experiment found that students who were diverted from concentrating on the hotties actually remembered and recognized them more consistently.<br /><br />So it's OK if your partner drools over other people?<br />Not exactly. If your partner does that while you stew in jealousy, "there's probably a larger problem at hand," says Meredith Melnick in TIME. And these studies do have some limitations, says Dr. John Grohol at PsychCentral. Most of the college students were in relatively new relationships, so it’s not clear if the findings would apply to older couples. The researchers also didn't track the subjects over time, so they don't know if the changes in attitudes led to actual infidelity or other relationship problems.<br /><br />What if you don't even want to ogle others?<br />Some research has found that men and women who don't notice beautiful people of the opposite sex "tend to be more satisfied in their own relationships and are more likely to stay with their partners long term," says Melnick at TIME. The crux is that such "blindness has to come naturally," rather than being enforced by one partner.<br /></div>CrAzY mAnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14141815023194580158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7779318929645023635.post-5706471495873789902011-04-12T15:31:00.000+05:002011-04-12T15:31:00.497+05:00Women put quality before quantity when it comes to sexMOST men in heterosexual relationships feel they are not having enough sex, but seem more satisfied than women with the sex they are having, an Australian study has found.<br /><br />Whether we have our desired amount of sex influences not only how happy we are with our sex life, but also our overall relationship, the researchers found. Their study of more than 6500 men and women in regular relationships showed 54 per cent of men and 42 per cent of women were not satisfied with the amount of sex they were having.<br /><div class="fullpost"><br />But while the dissatisfied men overwhelmingly wanted more sex, one-third of the dissatisfied women wanted less. The study's co-author, Juliet Richters, of the School of Public Health and Community Medicine at the University of NSW, said often women preferred sex involving more than traditional intercourse. When this was not forthcoming, they could lose interest. "They are just not getting the sex they want," she said. "We have this idea that sex should revolve around intercourse and that favours the man of course,'' she said.<br /><br />This mismatch in expectations could partly explain why the women were less likely to be satisfied with their relationship despite being more satisfied with the amount of sex they were having, the research team wrote in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy.<br /><br />Associate Professor Richters said the groups of men most likely to want less sex were aged 16 to 24, or those who had been in their relationship less than one year. "If you look at some of the research it seems it often takes men of that age about a year to commit to a relationship, or longer," she said. "There are quite a lot of men who seem to get into relationships and start having sex and they are not at all sure that is what they want.''The researchers said middle age seemed to be particularly unsatisfying for men.<br /><br />''It may be no coincidence that this is when many couples face competing demands on their time, such as as juggling careers and raising a young family,'' they said. ''It may also be possible that some women desire sex more often earlier in a relationship, or feel safer refusing sex in longer, more established relationships.''<br /></div>CrAzY mAnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14141815023194580158noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7779318929645023635.post-30517768947952229232011-04-06T18:33:00.001+05:002011-04-06T18:34:19.161+05:00Miley's lips locked over on-off relationship with Hemsworth<a href="http://keeprelationships.blogspot.com/2011/04/mileys-lips-locked-over-on-off.html" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 470px; height: 340px;" src="http://www.keeprelationships.com/userfiles/2011/4/6/images/Miley%20kips%20locked%20over%20on-off%20relationship%20with%20Hemsworth.jpg" border="0" alt="Miley's lips locked over on-off relationship with Hemsworth" /></a>The teenage pop princess and the Phillip Island hottie were seen getting up close and personal in LA at the weekend. On Saturday night, Cyrus made special mention of Hemsworth, 21, in a speech at the Kids' Choice Awards. Asked if the pair were back together, Cyrus turned coy. "Shhh! I'll never tell. My lips are sealed," she smiled.<br /><div class="fullpost"><br />And yesterday Cyrus - who has returned to Twitter after dumping the social-networking site last year - was shouting from the rooftops about Hemsworth's new film role. "I can say the best news ever now! Dang word travels fast! Liam booked the role of Gale in Hunger Games! I gotta go read all the books now!" Hemsworth has been cast alongside Josh Hutcherson and Jennifer Lawrence in the film, based on Suzanne Collins' fantasy trilogy.<br /><br />Cyrus will tour Australia in June and last week hinted she and Hemsworth were together. "I'm definitely not coming to Australia single," she said. The loved-up youngsters met on the set of The Last Song. They split once and got back together again before confirming they had split again last year.<br /></div>CrAzY mAnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14141815023194580158noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7779318929645023635.post-8229687102422324132011-04-05T17:14:00.001+05:002011-04-05T17:14:20.678+05:00Can you be friends without benefits?<a href="http://keeprelationships.blogspot.com/2011/04/can-you-be-friends-without-benefits.html" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 225px;" src="http://www.keeprelationships.com/userfiles/2011/4/5/images/Can%20you%20be%20friends%20without%20benefits.jpg" border="0" alt="Can you be friends without benefits?" /></a>A few years ago, Antonia Baker broke an unwritten code of etiquette and began dating her friend – and flatmate – James Vincent. She’d moved into the flat in 2006 and the pair “hooked up” the following April. Her initial friendship with Vincent was strictly platonic. “We were really good friends. He’s a bit of a comedian,” says 25-year-old Baker.<br /><br />In the beginning they spent time together without there being a hint of romance. The relationship could well have continued like that had it not been for an accident that proved to be a turning point. “I was hit by a car, and when he saw me hurt he began to think how terrible it would have been to lose me, and he realised he had feelings for me.<br /><div class="fullpost"><br />Baker says she had had no designs on Vincent, 24, until he professed his own feelings. “I was a really good friend of his but I’d never looked at him like that. I was always saying to my girlfriends, ‘James is such a good catch’, but I just wasn’t attracted to him. But sometimes if people start looking at you differently you start seeing them with different eyes, too.”<br /><br />Now living together, the couple are due to get married soon. Baker says she has “always preferred to hang out with guys. I just find guys easier than girls. I’m not really a girly girl who talks about fashion or make-up. And men are more straightforward, they don’t hold grudges. They crack me up.”<br /><br />She believes that having had such a strong platonic friendship has only strengthened her and Vincent’s relationship. “By the time we got together we knew each other inside out. I’d talked about my previous relationships and he’d had some girlfriends while I was around.<br /><br />“It might not be for everyone, but I thought getting to know each other beforehand was a really good thing. No skeletons to come out of the closet. For me it meant I didn’t have to waste time trying to get to know someone who wasn’t going to be compatible.”<br /><br />The concept of platonic relationships with people of the opposite sex is endlessly fascinating and a subject of great debate. For every 100 percent non-sexual friendship that exists there’s guaranteed to be a supposedly platonic friendship where one of the parties has ulterior motives or an unprofessed adoration for the other.<br /><br />Then there are myriad examples, not just in real life but in popular culture – movies such as When Harry Met Sally, My Best Friend’s Wedding, Reality Bites and this year’s Friends With Benefits and No Strings Attached – of friends who become romantically or sexually involved.<br /><br />A survey of more than 1 450 members of dating site match.com found that 62 percent of people had “crossed the line” with friends.<br /><br />A Psychology Today article titled “Can men and women be friends?” found that while platonic relationships were “tricky”, the consensus among those interviewed was that they’re not only possible but desirable.<br /><br />“I suspect that the male-female taboo boundaries are being broken down a bit, so it’s not so scary to have a friendship with a man or for a man to have a friendship with a woman,” says psychologist Sara Chatwin.<br /><br />Chatwin, who herself has predominantly male friends, believes that platonic relationships don’t have to be complicated. “I like the way men go about things. For me a really pragmatic masculine approach is something I like. I like to listen to their advice. I like their perspective,” she says.<br /><br />“I think of (my best friend) as somebody I could talk to, go for a run with, ring up if I had a problem with the computer… but I don’t abuse my privilege as his friend… I don’t interrupt his personal time. We just have a very pure friendship and, of course, there’s nothing romantic, nothing sexual and nothing untoward.”<br /><br />And the fact that Chatwin is married while her closest friend has a girlfriend is no impediment to their friendship. “You have to show your opposite-gender best friends and their life and their partner a lot of respect. Like, I wouldn’t bug him during his time with her.”<br /><br />She believes that respective partners should be introduced to each other to diffuse any potential misunderstandings. “I don’t think there necessarily needs to be jealousy. I think if you’re open and above-board with things there probably shouldn’t be jealousy. I’ve seen it come unstuck when (romantic) partners feel like they’re not the special one in the relationship because their person has somebody else.”<br /><br />Professionally, she has encountered examples of platonic relationships that shift into more intimate territory. “The boundaries get blurred and you look at people in a different light and I have seen relationships form in this kind of a way. If at some point it dawns on someone, or both of them, that their friendship is more than a friendship, then it’s not a friendship any longer. It’s moved into a very awkward kind of a space that needs to be dealt with.”<br /><br />Chatwin advises platonic friends to set ground rules from the outset, to be alert for signs their relationship is changing. “It pays to make sure that there are parameters, there are boundaries.”<br /><br />Wikihow.com goes so far as to list eight steps on “how to be just friends with a member of the opposite sex”. Their advice is to “involve the significant other(s)”, “minimise sexual tension”, “prevent borderline situations” and “be careful with your decisions”.<br /><br />Debbie Brown, 31, estimates that half of her friends are men. “My guy friends are very keen to meet my female friends,” she says, but the credentials for friendship are the same regardless of gender. “It’s simple. You just have to be a decent person and get on with each other. Men are just people, too. I think women forget that sometimes. They’re not that difficult to understand. Sometimes we mystify them in our own minds.”<br /><br />Male friends come in handy when Brown’s car needs repairing. “Mind you, it works both ways. Sometimes I think (close friend) Nick just comes around for my cooking. And my guy friends definitely play pool better.”<br /><br />But trouble can arise. Romantic partners don’t always accept their other half’s platonic friendships. “My last boyfriend couldn’t handle my guy mates at all,” says Brown. “He had a real issue with it. He was jealous and he couldn’t understand I could like someone and be friends with them without jumping into bed with that person. He acted like a toddler and sulked whenever I saw my guy mates.”<br /><br />Like Baker, Brown has had a friendship that became a romance. “I found him attractive and I knew our personalities were compatible. The relationship was a lot better, with trust established and a lot of that early groundwork already done,” she says.<br /><br />But it didn’t last and Brown discovered her ex-partner had fancied her from the outset of their “platonic friendship”. Lawyer Mark Russell attributes his large number of women friends to having taken a female-dominated university course. “You spend extended periods of time with the same people. I was at school for five years and law school for five years, so you’re seeing them on a day-to-day basis. Then all of a sudden you don’t see them as necessarily a girl or a guy but as one of your mates, part of that group.”<br /><br />Russell, 26, typically socialises with his female friends in a group or on one-on-one lunch dates and relishes the opportunity to discuss topics that men tend to avoid. “I think you can talk to girls about different things.”<br /><br />Such as personal and relationship matters? “Yeah. They enjoy listening to it. You know, when girls talk to girls they talk about guys they’re seeing and they’ll go into every single detail. But if a guy’s just met a new girl his guy friend’s going to say, ‘How is she?’, the other guy will be like, ‘She’s fantastic’. And that’ll be it. You won’t go into all the details.”<br /><br />Psychologist Linda Sapadin made a similar observation in Psychology Today, saying men benefit more than women from a platonic friendship: “What (the men) reported liking most was talking and relating to women – something they can’t do with their buddies.”<br /><br />According to Russell, the nature of platonic friendships often alters as the parties involved acquire a romantic partner. “Sometimes it changes significantly. You might see a girl a lot just as friends and then when she does get into a (romantic) relationship, you might not see much of her for a while.”<br /><br />No exploration of cross-gender friendships would be complete without a look at women with gay male friends. It’s a subset of platonic friendship beloved of Hollywood – think Will & Grace and Sex and the City.<br /><br />Sarah O’Brien, 31, reckons 90 percent of her friends are gay men. A flight attendant, she and her friends enjoy a social time involving coffee dates, gym appointments and the odd spot of karaoke. “They’ve got disposable incomes and no family commitments (so are) able to just do things like that.”<br /><br />And of course, in common with her gay friends, O’Brien, currently single, has a keen eye for the perfect man. “I can appreciate the same things they can.<br /></div>CrAzY mAnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14141815023194580158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7779318929645023635.post-49701168582763656582011-04-01T18:41:00.001+05:002011-04-01T18:41:31.521+05:006 Qualities of a Happy, Regret-Free Relationship<a href="http://keeprelationships.blogspot.com/2011/04/6-qualities-of-happy-regret-free.html" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 300px;" src="http://www.keeprelationships.com/userfiles/2011/4/1/images/6%20Qualities%20of%20a%20Happy,%20Regret%20Free%20Relationship.jpg.jpg" border="0" alt="6 Qualities of a Happy, Regret-Free Relationship" /></a>We, as individual people, can really make a mess of our lives and relationships, leaving ourselves and our loved ones with more regrets than we know what to do with. We can manipulate our children, undermine our spouses, and destroy our friendships; it’s a reality we all face sooner or later. Thankfully though, God has given us guidelines for healthy relationships built upon a foundation of love. Let’s take a look at universal signs of a healthy relationship:<br /><br />1. Affection: Affection is love shown. You can always tell when one person loves another; they can’t help but in one way or another show it through their body language, gestures, and words. And consistently too; feelings of affection are obvious to anyone who takes a moment to see it. A love never manifested —never displayed, never acted upon, never brought forth from the private heart to the public sphere—is no love at all. It’s love’s very nature to express itself; displays of affection are what love looks like. And that’s why, in every relationship based on love, you see them everywhere.<br /><div class="fullpost"><br />2. Respect: Respect is crucial to relational health. One of the most charming things in the world is to be around two people who respect each other. It shows in the gleam in their eyes when they look at one another, the readiness with which they laugh at each other’s jokes, the supportive tones in which they speak.<br /><br />An interesting thing about respect is that it doesn’t really work if it’s not there 100 percent. People can sense when you don’t respect them all the way. And for most people, knowing you don’t respect them 100 percent feels the same as if you didn’t respect them at all.<br /><br />Another interesting thing about respect is that you can’t respect anyone if you don’t first respect yourself. The degree to which you don’t respect yourself is the degree to which you will not be able to respect another. So how do you learn to respect yourself? You give yourself credit for everything you are and have done that’s valuable and worthy of respect, you forgive yourself for your failures, and you respect the potential of what you could become. In other words, you see yourself the way God sees you.<br /><br />3. Shared Values: If you want to establish a good and healthy relationship with someone, find out what values you share and then build upon those. Maybe it’s the job you both work at. Maybe it’s common family members. Maybe (hopefully!) it’s God. But whatever it is, find it, claim it —and then start to build your relationship upon it.<br /><br />4. Honesty: If there is one quality that would, ideally, define every relationship in the world, it would be honesty. If two people are honest with each other, there is no kind of woe they can’t survive. Hard times and difficult passage come to everybody, but it’s those who are honest with themselves and their loved ones who always weather them best.<br /><br />Be honest in everything you do, and insist on honesty from anyone with whom you share a relationship. This is the one thing that can’t be compromised or worked around; if the other person can’t or won’t be utterly honest with you, then understand how unlikely it is that you will build a healthy relationship with them. Honesty is to a relationship what mortar is to a brick house; without it, you simply can’t build.<br /><br />5. Trust: In its simplest and purest understanding, trust is an assurance of love. Someone who really loves someone else would no sooner hurt that person than they would purposefully shoot off their own foot. Trust, in the end, is a very personal thing; we trust the people in our lives whom we are sure wouldn’t hurt us on purpose. That’s why most people trust their mothers.<br /><br />Now, if you’re in a relationship with someone you don’t entirely trust, consider: that means you sense that person doesn’t really love you. If this is the case, the way to a healthy relationship is through communication. Has there been some misunderstanding that has reasonably led them not to love? Have you don’t something to make it so they can’t? Talk with them about it. Tell them you want to share real and solid love, so that your relationship can be everything that you want it to be. Grow love, and trust will follow.<br /><br />6. Freedom to Be: One of the qualities that’s always present in a healthy relationship is that each person in it is free to be whoever they care to be. If we are going to be in a healthy relationship with the people we love—if we’re going to really and truly love them—we are going to have to let them be themselves. That’s one of the big rules of being in a loving, trusting relationship you let them be them, and they let you be you. Sharing your uniqueness is one of the best ways to show a person how much you care about and trust them. It’s a very tangible way of putting your love for them into action, and a vital quality of a happy, regret-free relationship.<br /></div>CrAzY mAnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14141815023194580158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7779318929645023635.post-31443328473695089462011-03-31T17:41:00.001+05:002011-03-31T17:41:23.603+05:00Robert Pattinson Dishes On His Ideal Relationship!<a href="http://keeprelationships.blogspot.com/2011/03/robert-pattinson-dishes-on-his-ideal.html" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 300px;" src="http://www.keeprelationships.com/userfiles/2011/3/31/images/Robert%20Pattinson%20Dishes%20On%20His%20Ideal%20Relationship.jpg" border="0" alt="Robert Pattinson Dishes On His Ideal Relationship!" /></a>Calling all Twi-hards! Robert Pattinson is talking relationships, and we love him for it. And even though the dreamy R.Pattz could have his pick of any Hollywood leading lady, he reveals to Italian Vanity Fair that he's not the "casual-affair" kinda guy. So what does Rob describe as his ideal relationship? And does it match up to his romance with Kristen Stewart?<br /><br />As Rob clues the mag in: "She will always be an extraordinary woman to him, no matter what. Jacob just wants to give and doesn't ask for anything in return. That's the best kind of relationship."And no, Rob's not talking about Twilight's Jacob, he's referring to his character in his newest film, Water For Elephants' Jacob Jankowski, but still, Rob strongly believes the man must "cultivate the relationship."So mature, Rob! And we bet the work you and Kris put into your love will definitely make Robsten go the distance.<br /><div class="fullpost"><br />Something even more promising? Rob's parents are still together! And he reveals that he "has grown up believing that you can stay with the same person throughout your life."Really, Rob, we are so impressed by you! Not only are you super hot, but you choose loyalty in a relationship? Hollywood def needs more guys like our fave dude.<br /><br />And even though Rob didn't mention Kris in the interview (nothing unexpected from the über-private couple), he did give her a super sly shout-out: "If I choose to be with someone it's because I really want it. When I have a relationship, I'm 100 percent into it. If I felt like seeing more women at once then I wouldn't go around saying ‘this is my girlfriend.' "<br /><br />So sweet, Rob, we love you and Kris together even more, but does this mean your leading lady will be by your side with your busy schedule? Nope (much to our dismay). But there's one lucky mate who will be, Rob's new pooch, who he adopted from an animal shelter. Who knew hotties with a heart that huge actually do exist? Rob, you are so No. 1 in our book.<br /></div>CrAzY mAnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14141815023194580158noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7779318929645023635.post-15217739588927045412011-03-28T17:57:00.001+05:002011-03-28T17:57:36.813+05:00A piercing portrayal of relationships<a href="http://keeprelationships.blogspot.com/2011/03/piercing-portrayal-of-relationships.html" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 500px; height: 400px;" src="http://www.keeprelationships.com/userfiles/2011/3/28/images/A%20piercing%20portrayal%20of%20relationships.jpg" border="0" alt="A piercing portrayal of relationships" /></a>San Antonio native Joan Crawford won an Oscar for the movie “Mildred Pierce.” Britain's Kate Winslet seems destined to win an Emmy for the TV remake. The latter's performance as Depression-era divorcée Mildred — a highly capable career woman brought down by her obsessive love for her manipulative daughter — is so intimate, you'll find yourself right there with her during both the highs and disturbing lows of her life.<br /><br />A warning to those who loved the Crawford movie, however: The five-part “Mildred Pierce” on HBO, which kicks off with a two-part block at 8 and continues on subsequent Sundays through April 10, is strikingly different from its 1945 predecessor. It's earthier and much more faithful to the James M. Cain novel's psychological theme of tug-of-war between a mother and daughter. The original movie explored this aspect, but added a thriller element, complete with a murder involving the main characters.<br /><div class="fullpost"><br />Director Todd Haynes (“Far From Heaven”), who co-wrote this adaptation, said he loved the old film, calling it “a beautifully stylized piece of Hollywood operatic noir film making.” However, he was even more taken by the “modern, contemporary and approachable” book.<br /><br />“I was so startled and surprised by reading the James M. Cain novel,” Haynes told TV critics at a recent HBO press session, featuring the director and three of the mini's stars, “at how incredibly frank (he was) and how much he was really purposefully trying to not do a film noir as he'd come to be known for in ‘The Postman Always Rings Twice' and ‘Double Indemnity,' but really a realistic portrait of a mother-daughter relationship.”<br /><br />Right away, we're introduced to turmoil. We see Mildred hard at work in her Glendale, Calif., home baking cakes and pies for neighbors to bring in extra money to make up for her out-of-work husband's lack of income. It doesn't take long for Mildred to toss him out. She then struggles to make a living for her family by, first, waiting tables, and later, opening her own restaurant.<br /><br />More important than the plot, however, are Mildred's relationships. First and foremost is her unreasonable devotion to her snob of a daughter, Veda, who makes her displeasure with her middle class circumstances known at every turn. The movie also explores Mildred's complex relationships with men, particularly Monty (Guy Pearce), a rakishly handsome fellow with an upper-crust background who nonetheless ends up living off Mildred.<br /><br />In keeping with the book's candor, the miniseries delivers frank depictions of Mildred's sexuality. The open sensuality of her encounters — complete with nudity — is bound to surprise fans of the more modest original movie.<br /><br />Winslet praised Cain's honesty, describing his characters as “very real people experiencing very real emotions.” The Oscar-winning actress was attracted to the project for many reasons, but primary was “this unbelievably intense relationship between Mildred and Veda,” she said. “Every mother-daughter relationship is complex and complicated for its own different set of reasons, but this one, it was just something else because Mildred was in a position constantly where she didn't know whether to love her or kill her.”<br /><br />Winslet conveys these complexities beautifully, as do the actresses who depict the relationship's other half. Veda is portrayed by two: Morgan Turner plays her from age 11 into her teens, imbuing her with a fierceness that makes you cringe.<br /><br />Evan Rachel Wood gives the grown-up Veda an even scarier quality — an icy disregard for others that's compared in the miniseries to a snake's. “That character almost killed me,” Wood said. “She's just warped at such an early age.”<br /><br />She said she didn't want to play Veda “as just this bratty daughter that, you know, everyone hates,” but instead wanted to show how remarkably talented she is and why she obsesses over escaping the working-class world of her mother. She succeeds. “Mildred Pierce” is indeed an actress' dream, delivering vivid female characters, full of ambition and pain, rarely found on television.<br /></div>CrAzY mAnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14141815023194580158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7779318929645023635.post-47502283183900834872011-03-25T19:29:00.001+05:002011-03-25T19:29:58.983+05:00Why women have more relationship regrets than men<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://keeprelationships.blogspot.com/2011/03/why-women-have-more-relationship.html"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 468px; height: 269px;" src="http://www.keeprelationships.com/userfiles/2011/3/25/images/Why%20women%20have%20more%20relationship%20regrets%20than%20men.jpg" border="0" alt="Why women have more relationship regrets than men" /></a>When it comes to regrets, there’s nothing like a failed romance to reveal the emotional gulf between the sexes. For while it seems a man can walk away from a relationship with barely a second thought, his lover may worry for years about what she did wrong. More than twice as many women as men in a study said they had made mistakes with ex-partners – 44 per cent compared with 20 per cent.<br /><br />Relationship expert Jean Hannah Edelstein said it showed that women felt they were ‘more responsible for the emotional side of the relationship’. ‘Women are more inclined to look inwardly to identify reasons why a relationship broke down than men,’ she added.<br /><div class="fullpost"><br />‘They are also more likely to think they were to blame and that it was their fault and will ask themselves, “What is it about me that I could have done differently?”. ‘Men, if they ask themselves those questions, would be something like, “What was their problem?”, or what else was going on in their life at the time.<br /><br />‘Too few men admit to regret because they think it is unmasculine, but they should consider reflecting more. ‘Honest reflection after a relationship can never be a bad thing.’The telephone survey asked 370 adults aged between 19 and 103 what they considered their biggest single regret to be.<br /><br />The most common disappointment was romance, with nearly one in five of those questioned saddened that a relationship hadn’t worked. Not surprisingly, perhaps, single women were most likely to regret the one that got away.<br /><br />In second place were family problems, with 16 per cent wishing they had not argued with loved ones.<br /><br />A sense of failure over education came third (13 per cent), followed by regrets over careers (12 per cent), money problems (10 per cent) and parenting errors (9 per cent). The study, which will be published in the journal Social Psychological & Personality Science, was carried out by American researchers at Northwestern University in Chicago.<br /><br />Lead author Professor Neal Roese said that although regret may be upsetting, it can be a good thing. He added: ‘There are ways regret feels bad, but on average regret is a helpful emotion. The most helpful way to experience regret is to feel it deeply, get over it quickly and move on and use it to push you to new behaviours that are going to be helpful.<br /><br />‘The longer-ago regrets tend to focus on lost opportunities, things you could have done or should have done different. More recent regrets tend to focus on things you did do that you wish you could take back.’<br /><br />Even though the study reinforces the idea that women mourn failed relationships and reflect on their failures while men appear ready to move on straight away without looking back, earlier research found that almost twice as many women as men wish they had married someone else.<br /><br />More than 20 per cent of married women said that if they could go back in time they would change their husband, compared with 12 per cent of married men.<br /></div>CrAzY mAnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14141815023194580158noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7779318929645023635.post-6665052646947997872011-03-22T18:40:00.000+05:002011-03-22T18:40:01.519+05:00Keeping your spirits up helps relationshipsIs the conversation between yourself and co-workers negative these days? Do you and your spouse or partner argue over politics, money issues or the kids? World events, personal stress and family problems can easily sap your joy. "I used to be in a pretty good mood most of the time," says an HR director we'll call Brad. "But now that I'm having some health problems, I feel like the wind has gone out of my sails."<br /><br />While we all need to address our problems fully, as best we can, there's nothing wrong with a little escape. Changing your focus to what's positive, rather than negative, can help. "I lost my job three months ago," says a man we'll call John. "Several other bad things happened in our family as well. I went from happy to miserable in the course of about three days. Help!"We've all had periods of time like John is talking about. Things seem shaky in our lives. In fact, we may wonder if our lives are going downhill.<br /><div class="fullpost"><br />Try these techniques to stay grounded: _Find someone to talk to. Make an appointment with an old friend, a counselor or a family member you trust. _Figure out what control you actually have. For example, could you use a job loss to propel yourself to a career you will enjoy more?<br /><br />_Take small steps to fix your problems. Do something every day to move forward. Don't allow a lot of time to go by without taking some kind of action. John, mentioned above, couldn't bring himself to get out of bed after losing his job. His wife panicked and called us, because this kind of behavior didn't fit John's personality.<br /><br />We coached him for several hours in order to devise a plan to help him move forward. John told us he actually hated his former job, so we encouraged him to look at this bad break as a fresh opportunity. After making a list of employers to approach, John is now busy sending out his resume. We advised John to treat his job search as a full-time job.<br /><br />"I'm making it a point to cook something nice for John or go for a walk with him when I get home every night," says his wife, Courtney. "I told John that we will focus on celebrating his new job search."John is spending afternoons in the library reading books on how to sharpen his job hunting skills.<br /><br />"I'm actually enjoying the process of job hunting," says John. "I'm taking small steps and trying not to push the panic button. This bad time is actually drawing my wife and me much closer."If you're extremely stressed, do work on solving your problems. But, set aside time to read, listen to music or exercise to keep weariness at bay.<br /><br />"I learned the importance of switching my focus while sitting with my terminally ill father," says a friend of ours we'll call Susie. "If I listened to good music and kept a good book nearby, I could sit with him for hours and not come unraveled."<br /><br />Keeping your own spirits up requires you to be a little self-centered at times. If you fail to soothe yourself, you won't have as much energy for your family and friends. Escape for a movie all by yourself on a Saturday afternoon. Or, go for a drive in the country for a couple of hours. Invest in what makes you feel good, so you can keep plugging away.<br /></div>CrAzY mAnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14141815023194580158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7779318929645023635.post-74474667586773390022011-03-21T15:13:00.001+05:002011-03-21T15:14:21.081+05:00World Premiere of Kin, Bathsheba Doran's Meditation on Relationships, Opens in NYC<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://keeprelationships.blogspot.com/2011/03/world-premiere-of-kin-bathsheba-dorans.html"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 300px;" src="http://www.keeprelationships.com/userfiles/2011/3/21/images/World%20Premiere%20of%20Kin,%20Bathsheba%20Doran's%20Meditation%20on%20Relationships,%20Opens%20in%20NYC.jpg" border="0" alt="World Premiere of Kin, Bathsheba Doran's Meditation on Relationships, Opens in NYC" /></a>Bathsheba Doran's Kin, a drama with humor about the extended families of a would-be couple — an American scholar and an Irish personal trainer — opens in a world-premiere engagement at Off-Broadway's Playwrights Horizons March 21. Kristen Bush and Patch Darragh are featured as the couple in question.<br /><br />Obie Award winner Sam Gold, who directed PH's hit run of Circle Mirror Transformation in 2009-10, stages the new play on the company's Mainstage. Previews began Feb. 25.<br /><br />According to Playwrights Horizons: "Anna (Kristen Bush), an Ivy League poetry scholar, and Sean (Patch Darragh), an Irish personal trainer, hardly seem destined for one another. But as their web of disparate family and friends crosses great distances — both psychologically and geographically — an unlikely new family is forged. Bathsheba Doran's play sheds a sharp light on the changing face of kinship in the expansive landscape of the modern world.<br /><div class="fullpost"><br />The cast includes Tony Award nominee Suzanne Bertish (Nicholas Nickleby), Bill Buell ("John Adams"), Kristen Bush (A Touch of the Poet), Patch Darragh (The Glass Menagerie), Laura Heisler (Coram Boy), Matthew Rauch (The Merchant of Venice), Cotter Smith (Next Fall), Kit Flanagan (Broadway's All My Sons in 1987) and Molly Ward (Three Sisters).<br /><br />Kin has scenic design by Paul Steinberg, costume design by David Zinn, lighting design by Jane Cox and sound design by Matt Tierney. The white framework of the set is manipulated by the actors to form shifting playing areas, covering many years in the growth of the characters.<br /><br />Doran's plays include Parents' Evening (Flea Theater); Living Room in Africa (Off-Broadway for Edge Theater); Nest (commissioned and produced by Signature Theater in Arlington, VA); Until Morning (BBC Radio 4); adaptations of The Blind, Peer Gynt and Great Expectations; and her play for young audiences, Ben and The Magic Paintbrush (South Coast Rep). She is a recipient of the Helen Merrill Playwriting Award and three Lecomte du Nouy Lincoln Center playwriting awards. She was a Cherry Lane Mentor Project Fellow and a Susan Blackburn Award finalist. Her work has been developed by MTC, the O'Neill Theatre Center, Lincoln Center, Sundance Theater Lab and Playwrights Horizons. Doran studied at Cambridge and Oxford universities before working as a television comedy writer with the BBC. She moved to the United States on a Fulbright Scholarship in 2000, and received her MFA from Columbia University and went on to become a playwriting fellow of The Juilliard School. She is currently under commission from Atlantic Theater and Playwrights Horizons and Schtanhaus in London.<br /></div>CrAzY mAnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14141815023194580158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7779318929645023635.post-15542622493249880412011-03-17T18:29:00.001+05:002011-03-17T18:29:47.017+05:00Relationships are all about the timingCollege is all about having fun, meeting new people, going out and just having a good time. Relationships can and are a part of this mixture of college. However, if not timed right in one's college journey, they will end in a break up. It's a subtle combination of being ready to settle down and finding the person who makes you happy.<br /><br />Being in relationship as an underclassman really doesn't make a ton of sense in my opinion. You have just entered the next four years of your life in which you will make lifelong friends, develop long-lasting ties and meet tons of people from the opposite sex.<br /><div class="fullpost"><br />Why tie yourself down with one person and then causing unnecessary tension in your relationship because one of you is unhappy about what the other one is doing? Sure a casual "hangout buddy" to watch a movie with and talk to is healthy, but being involved seriously this early in your college career rarely works. I've seen it happen hundreds of times, to some good people I've known, where something gets in the way of the relationship when they are underclassman. ‘Why fight it?' is my answer. Do your own thing.<br /><br />However, reaching that junior and senior level is when settling down really hits you. You can't do some of the stuff you used to do when going out and it is almost time to go out in the real world. This is when relationships can really blossom into a long-term commitment. I, myself, hit the jackpot in finding a girl that I want to spend the rest of my life with. I've seen other people my age search for the same thing and find it in their later years of college.<br /><br />It's a natural occurrence. It just happens and it's a great thing to have. It's comforting to know that you can count on a significant other to talk to about the in's and out's of life that seem so distant when you're an underclassman but are now so clear as you get older.<br /><br />It's great knowing you'll have someone to come back to when your day is over. Relationships can really hit their stride because of a maturity and sense of wanting a significant other. The timing is just right.<br /><br />All-in-all, just make sure it's a well-timed decision to get into a relationship. If you feel like it's going to hinder what you really want at the time, then don't do it. But if it's truly what you want and want for when you get out of college go for it. And for all you still searching-Love will find a way to your hearts.<br /></div>CrAzY mAnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14141815023194580158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7779318929645023635.post-22560627550132866232011-03-15T16:23:00.001+05:002011-03-15T16:23:04.916+05:00Lack of Support from Partner Linked to Pregnancy BluesIt is well-known that pregnancy is meant to be a joyous time however some women experience overwhelming 'baby blues' before the birth of their child.<br /><br />Anxiety and depression during pregnancy can result in premature birth, or low birth weight, and impact the child's health even into early school years. New research published in BioMed Central's open access journal BMC Public Health shows that a bad relationship with their husband or partner is the strongest predictor of maternal emotional distress.<br /><div class="fullpost"><br />A Norwegian study involving almost 50,000 mums-to-be looked at how these women felt about their work, family or partner, and compared their bouts of illness, alcohol and smoking habits. The amount of support women received from their partners had the strongest link with mental health; those women who were most unhappy with their relationships were the most likely to be depressed.<br /><br />Illness and troubles at work were also linked to prenatal emotional distress as were problems with alcohol in the preceding year. However a good relationship was a buffer against most everyday stresses. Women who were happy with their partner were better able to cope with difficulties at work, lack of money, or other stressful situations such as moving house or being ill.<br /><br />While older mothers seemed to be better able to cope during pregnancy, young mums struggled more. Gun-Mette Røsand from the Norwegian Institute of Public Health said, "Failure to recognise and treat emotional distress during pregnancy stores up problems for both mother and child, and impacts continuing family welfare. It is important that antenatal courses should include relationship classes and that close attention should be paid to women who lack the support of a good relationship."<br /></div>CrAzY mAnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14141815023194580158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7779318929645023635.post-84592908294674860562011-03-14T18:28:00.000+05:002011-03-14T18:29:11.370+05:00Women wear the pants in most romantic relationshipsFEMINISM has always had a love-hate relationship with sex. Many men blame feminism for ruining their relationships and sex lives. Zuko Mathyila, a male activist in Cape Town, blames feminism for ruining a lot of marriages and relationships in South Africa.<br /><br />He blames the feminist media for telling women and men that women should only have sex when they feel like it and to disregard men's needs. He says this message has become common in mainstream women magazines, schools and counselling rooms.<br /><div class="fullpost"><br />"Studies show that 60percent of the married couples out there have sex about once a week. For most husbands that is equal to a hunger diet of sex once a week or less. "The feminists would say that a woman should not allow herself to be a 'sexual slave' to her husband. This is plain selfishness."<br /><br />Mathyila also blames feminism for messing up love lives, marriages and families.<br /><br />"Yes, feminism has done well in opening doors for equal rights for women financially and politically but it has ruined a lot of marriages," he says.<br /><br />"A lot of women take the boardroom masculine attitude into their bedrooms. Women forget that we fall in love with them because they are feminine, sexually available, loving and appreciative. "Feminism has made them fussy, neurotic whiners."Mathyila says one thing he has learnt about feminism is that it is not about equality between the sexes, but female supremacy.<br /><br />He complains that feminism has got men so twisted in the head that they're afraid to be a little aggressive and sexually playful lest they are charged with date rape. "Love has become a mystery. Many men are suffering identity crises on a daily basis. Men simply don't know what being a man actually means anymore.<br /><br />"They fear women won't like them if they display the characteristics that make men masculine. They think it's bad to do the stuff that makes men attractive in the first place.<br /><br />"All the news about sexual harassment, men being chauvinists pigs when they talk to women with intentions and so on have sent confusing massages to men. "Men are afraid to approach women. You don't do anything when you see an interesting woman because you think she won't like you when she realises you approached her with sexual intentions."<br /><br />Asiphe Ndlela, a psychologist, agrees with Mathyila that feminism is ruining relationships. She says women have great power and influence over men, and wives in particular have tremendous power over their husbands.<br /><br />"How they use this power essentially controls the relationship because women are the masters of most relationships and marriages."She says men are simple human beings who come from a woman, are nurtured and brought up by a woman, and yearn for the continued love, admiration, and approval from a woman. Ndlela further blames feminism for robbing women of their identities by devaluing their job description. "Millions of women whose self-esteem was derived from their role as a great mother or supportive wife were suddenly left with a low-ranking title."<br /><br />She says in relationships feminists retreat from any behaviour that might be deemed submissive. This has caused them to throw out the baby with the bath water.<br /><br />"They are so afraid of submission that they have forgotten how to be supportive."Mpho Malatje of Masibambane Family Group in Khayelitsha says there is nothing wrong with feminism. She says feminism is good for relationships. "A lot of male chauvinists are making young women disinterested in it but, in the long run, feminism actually makes your love life better," Malatje says.<br /><br />"A lot of women have compromised their standards because they are afraid to die lonely. Fear won't actually lead you to happier romantic relationships. "What leads to happier relationships is being empowered, being honest, intentional and clear about what you want.<br /><br />"And incorporating and prioritising your own needs into your romantic life means sometimes running the risk of being single for a little while and it means having some standards and not settling (for someone who is not right for you). The truth is we have too much to lose any other way."<br /><br />She says if feminism has taught her anything it's that, as a woman, she should never be ashamed to ask for what she wants. "Feminism and, more generally, pluralism, have taught us that we are all individuals and the life of each person is that person's responsibility," she says.<br /><br />"Having a pluralistic, and specifically feminist, view of the world and the self enhances one's ability to be a good mate. "You can't be in an emotionally mature and satisfying relationship if all you're doing is parroting the gender roles that were prescribed to you upon your birth and classification as male or female."<br /></div>CrAzY mAnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14141815023194580158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7779318929645023635.post-16912480999011394852011-03-07T15:51:00.001+05:002011-03-07T15:51:16.054+05:00For Longer-Lasting Relationships, Get a Less Attractive Girlfriend<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="hthttp://keeprelationships.blogspot.com/2011/03/for-longer-lasting-relationships-get.html"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 250px;" src="http://www.keeprelationships.com/userfiles/2011/3/7/images/For%20Longer-Lasting%20Relationships,%20Get%20a%20Less%20Attractive%20Girlfriend.jpg" border="0" alt="For Longer-Lasting Relationships, Get a Less Attractive Girlfriend" /></a>Is your ladylove better looking than you? Well, then chances are your relationship won't last, says a new research. According to the UK study, relationships in which the woman is more attractive than the man may be doomed to failure. However, having a handsome husband or boyfriend is no barrier to the couple's success, says the study.<br /><br />The phenomenon was spotted by British researchers studying whether it was true people tend to pair up with those who are similarly attractive to ourselves. The researchers took photos of more than 100 couples, some together for just a few months, others for several years. The individual men and women were then rated on their looks.<br /><div class="fullpost"><br />The study showed if the woman was the one blessed with good looks, the relationships tended to last a matter of months. "Beautiful women may realise they can afford to pick and choose," the Daily Telegraph quoted researcher Rob Burriss as saying.<br /></div>CrAzY mAnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14141815023194580158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7779318929645023635.post-67728552870965599092011-03-02T16:21:00.003+05:002011-03-02T16:21:39.080+05:00Relationships between attractive women and ordinary men 'more likely to fail'Scientists from Stirling, Chester and Liverpool universities found that beautiful women seem to realise they can pick and choose their mates, whereas an attractive man with a more ordinary woman seemed to be more content and less likely to stray.<br /><br />The findings might come as scant consolation to Bernie Ecclestone, whose marriage to the model Slavica Ecclestone, ended in 2009. She is almost a foot taller than him and 28 years younger. Researchers took photographs of men and women in over 100 couples, some of whom had been together for a few months, others for many years, and they were then rated on looks.<br /><div class="fullpost"><br />The analysis showed that in relationships pairing a "beauty" with an average man, it tended to last only a matter of months. Rob Burriss, one of the researchers, said: "This would indicate it is the woman who is in control of whether the relationship continues."<br /><br />He added that beautiful women may realise they can afford to pick and choose. Conversely, the less attractive women "may have to make do with what they have, hence the longer relationships", he said. Dr Burriss said the idea echoes the Dr Hook song When You're In Love With A Beautiful Woman, which warns a man outshone by his woman that "everybody wants to take your baby home".<br /></div>CrAzY mAnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14141815023194580158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7779318929645023635.post-76251801587826265962011-02-28T14:22:00.001+05:002011-02-28T14:22:47.670+05:00Facebook adds new relationship status optionsIt’s Facebook official: the recent launching of two new relationship statuses, “in a domestic partnership” and “in a civil union,” has shown the world’s largest social network’s willingness to recognize the LGBTQ community.<br /><br />The Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation, an organization that “amplifies the voice of the LGBT community,” partnered with Facebook to make the change. With more than 500 million active Facebook users, the organization hopes that the added options will raise awareness for the LGBTQ community.<br /><div class="fullpost"><br />While some believe the changes are a clear sign of Facebook’s support of homosexual relationships, others believe it’s just a message of Facebook’s tolerance toward its diverse users. Alex Earles, Salina senior and president of the University of Kansas Delta Lambda Phi fraternity, which promotes an environment for gay, bisexual and progressive men, said it’s about time the additions were offered. However, he considers it a small step for the gay community.<br /><br />“I don’t think Mark Zuckerberg is waving a rainbow flag around, but I think it shows you don’t have to be on the same lines or totally agree to be tolerant or accepting,” Earles said. The changes may also provide a feeling of inclusivity to the LGBTQ community. Joshua Williams, Kansas City, Kan., junior and vice president of the University’s Queers & Allies, said the additions are a step in the right direction toward better social understanding of the LGBTQ community.<br /><br />“I think that Facebook’s willingness to change is a sign of societal willingness to challenge the norms and realize that not everything is black or white,” Williams said. The new relationship statuses may not be the push that leads to total equality. However, both Earles and Williams agree that it’s a positive change. “Domestic partnerships may not be legally official, but at least they can be Facebook official,” Earles said.<br /></div>CrAzY mAnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14141815023194580158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7779318929645023635.post-64176113265622224472011-02-25T18:06:00.001+05:002011-02-25T18:07:05.338+05:00Bali 'friendship relationship' touted for Rockingham<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://keeprelationships.blogspot.com/2011/02/bali-friendship-relationship-touted-for.html"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 202px;" src="http://www.keeprelationships.com/userfiles/2011/2/25/images/Bali%20friendship%20relationship%20touted%20for%20Rockingham.jpg" alt=" * Bali 'friendship relationship' touted for Rockingham" border="0" /></a>MANY residents consider Bali a great holiday destination, but Rockingham’s ties with the island could soon become a whole lot closer. Rockingham councillor Paul Ellis has proposed that the city establish a friendship relationship with Bali.<br /><br />The suggestion has been welcomed by Rockingham resident Made Delaveris, who has developed strong networks with the island community, including the running of a disaster appeal after the 2002 Bali bombings.<br /><div class="fullpost"><br />It is understood the council’s global friendship committee, which Cr Ellis and Ms Delaveris are members of, has given the proposal an informal tick of approval. It is yet to be formally passed by the council.<br /><br />Cr Ellis told the Courier a friendship relationship would have educational and cultural exchange benefits and would come at little cost to ratepayers. He said it would “not be an excuse for councillors to go on a junket” and would not be a sister-city relationship such as between Rockingham and Ako in Japan.<br /><br />He was against creating relationships that cost ratepayers money and was opposed to the delegation of Mayor Barry Sammels, chief executive Andrew Hammond and Cr Deb Hamblin to Ako in March at a cost of $25,000.<br /><br />“What we’re (the global friendship committee) suggesting is to have friendships with any cities that won’t cost council any money,” Cr Ellis said. “I’d be happy for friendship relationships with anywhere, so long as it’s community-based and rate-payers are actually benefiting out of the relationship.”<br /><br />Ms Delaveris lived in Bali for several years and visits regularly, continuing her charity work and strengthening her bond with the island. She said a Bali friendship would have significant benefits for Rockingham. “There is a huge Balinese and Indonesian community here,” she said. “Bali is the primary holiday destination of pretty much everyone in Rockingham.”<br /><br />Ms Delaveris said the relationship would generate goodwill in the short-term, boost tourism to Rockingham in the medium-term and have “phenomenal” economic benefits in the longer-term. “It will be a rich relationship. I can see them investing in training centres for hospitality and enrolling students in TAFE facilities,” she said.<br /><br />“The exchange of ideas and building a culture of tolerance and understanding is really important where we do have such a mixed bag in Rockingham.”Mayor Sammels said an official proposal would need to be received from Indonesian authorities before council could consider formalising a friendship relationship with Bali.<br /><br />“The City has not received an official proposal from Balinese representatives,” he said. “Following an official proposal, the benefits of a relationship would be investigated based on the Global Friendship Committee’s recommendation to council,” he said.<br /></div>CrAzY mAnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14141815023194580158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7779318929645023635.post-46412546814470468312011-02-24T16:29:00.001+05:002011-02-24T16:29:49.402+05:0010 Ways to Strengthen Referral RelationshipsSo while there isn’t one “best” way to solidify your connections with referral sources, you can take a number of actions to build good will and credibility in those relationships. Here, I offer my top 10 examples that should give you some ideas and get you off on the right foot. This list isn't exhaustive, so please feel free to add your own actions to it.<br /><br />1. Arrange a one-to-one meeting. Meeting a referral source in person is an excellent opportunity to learn more about his or her business and interests. Prepare questions in advance so that the conversation flows smoothly. Be ready to give an update on your business and to ask lots of questions about your source’s interests.<br /><div class="fullpost"><br />After you’ve met at least once, you may also consider inviting him or her to participate in some type of recreational activity, such as a golf outing, fishing trip, concert or play. This can be a good opportunity to let your referral source see a different side of you in an informal setting.<br /><br />2. Send a thank-you card. A handwritten thank-you card makes a great impression, especially in this age of electronic communication. Be sure to write a personalized note that mentions what you’re thanking your referral source for. If you’d rather send something online, SendOutCards.com is a useful resource.<br /><br />3. Send a gift. Like a thank-you card, a gift -- however small or inexpensive -- can help build visibility and credibility with your referral source. Try to find out what his or her likes are (such as favorite foods, hobbies, etc.), and send a gift that is personalized.<br /><br />4. Call a referral source. An occasional, casual phone call is a good way to keep the relationship strong -- when you take care to call only when it’s least likely to be an unwelcome interruption. It’s also a good idea to have a piece of news or some tidbit of information to pass along that will benefit or interest your source. You can set up a file for holding newspaper and magazine clippings that may be of interest to people you would like to be your referral sources. Sending an article, especially one that is pertinent to your source’s current business or personal circumstances, reaffirms that you are thinking about his or her needs.<br /><br />5. Display a source’s brochure. Doing a bit of sales work on behalf of a referral source can only enhance your relationship. If you have a public area for your business, offer to place your source’s materials where your clients can read them.<br /><br />6. Extend an invitation. Invite a referral source to a networking event. Introducing him or her to other businesspeople you know gives your source an opportunity to meet others in your target market. It may also provide new business opportunities for you both.<br /><br />7. Nominate them for an award. Watch for these types of opportunities. Local service and civic organizations often present annual awards recognizing contributions to a particular cause, and local periodicals often sponsor awards contests for businesspeople. Find out which groups and interests your referral source is involved in and check to see if there is a form of recognition associated with them.<br /><br />8. Include a source in your newsletter. Even a brief mention of a referral source in your newsletter can pay dividends down the road, including the opportunity for them to reciprocate the favor in their own newsletter.<br /><br />9. Arrange a speaking engagement. Help your referral source get in front of a group that would be interested in his or her business or area of expertise. Local chapters of service organizations, such as Rotary and Kiwanis, are always looking for good speakers. If you belong to a group that invites people to speak, use your contacts to help your source make the rounds among various chapters.<br /><br />10. Turn the table. Offer your referral source a referral he or she might find useful. It’s often a wonderful way to build your relationship. By helping build your source’s business, you help create a debt of gratitude that will encourage your source to respond in kind.<br /></div>CrAzY mAnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14141815023194580158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7779318929645023635.post-24908228653694888952011-02-23T17:27:00.001+05:002011-02-23T17:27:09.958+05:00Teen dating violence: almost half had abusive relationshipWe know violence sometimes exist between married couples, even couples who are dating. But, teen dating violence has become a growing problem.The Iowa Coalition Against Domestic Violence says dating abuse is widespread.<br /><br />Nationally, up to 40% of teens have been in abusive relationships and of those that have 43% experienced abuse while at school. The group believes schools must get involved saying teens are statistically at a higher risk for intimate partner abuse than adults. An Iowa Coalition spokesperson says if dating violence is ever going to be stopped, teens must be engaged where they are most likely to be influenced, at school.<br /><div class="fullpost"><br />Kemi Jones of the Sioux City Council on Sexual Assault and Domestic Violence shared insight on what teens should know and signs to look for. She says teens in an abusive relationship are often kept isolated from their friends by the controlling partner. They may be obsessively texting or calling, wanting to know whereabouts. Jones also says they may not support activities outside the relationship.<br /><br />An aggressor uses power, control and intimidation to convince their boyfriend or girlfriend that they are doing what they do because they love them. Jones says friends who recognize this behavior should be supportive and encourage them to call the CSADV 24 hour crisis line for confidential support and advice.<br /></div>CrAzY mAnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14141815023194580158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7779318929645023635.post-87973573920291727232011-02-18T15:52:00.001+05:002011-02-18T15:52:22.098+05:00JWoww Dishes Relationship Advice On 'Tonight Show'<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://keeprelationships.blogspot.com/2011/02/jwoww-dishes-relationship-advice-on.html"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 281px; height: 211px;" src="http://www.keeprelationships.com/userfiles/2011/2/18/images/JWoww%20Dishes%20Relationship%20Advice%20On%20Tonight%20Show.jpg" alt="JWoww Dishes Relationship Advice On 'Tonight Show'" border="0" /></a>Though Jenni "JWoww" Farley is one of the most lovable characters from "Jersey Shore" both on- and offscreen, she certainly has had her problems with relationships.<br /><br />For the first season of the show, she entered the Shore house in a steady relationship with boyfriend Tommy, but after a steamy make-out session with castmate Pauly D, he broke it off with her. Now, however, she's seven months into a relationship with boyfriend Roger and told Jay Leno on "The Tonight Show" that she has learned her lesson.<br /><div class="fullpost"><br />"I wrote the book ['The Rules According to JWoww'] when I was in the middle of our relationship, about four months ago, and I based it off him," she told Leno on Wednesday night's show. "I was like, this is what I did wrong with all my exes, and now I found him.<br /><br />The book details JWoww's secrets on how to land the guy you want and how to destroy the competition, and she shared some of her sage advice on "The Tonight Show." Rule number one for a first date? Don't drink.<br /><br />"Don't end up like we are on the show. Avoid that," the 23-year-old said with a laugh. "You want to build communication. You want to listen to what they're saying."<br /><br />JWoww said she's been in three serious relationships so far, and has had her share of dating men both good and bad. When Leno asked her if she hopes she and Roger will still be together the next time she comes on the show, she said she hopes so. But JWoww isn't sure whether Roger will be visiting her when the "Jersey Shore" gang heads to Italy for the coming season.<br /><br />Still, with her advice book built around their relationship, it seems that sticking by her own rules — like being up front about her eating habits and not settling for a guy whose lifestyle she has a problem with — has been keeping the two lovebirds happy. Take for instance rule 17: Bust his, er, chops a little.<br /><br />"Roger's going to kill me. He's a bodybuilder, he's huge, he's about 6' 3". I like to be like, oh, you're looking a little small recently," she said. "Got to keep it interesting."<br /></div>CrAzY mAnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14141815023194580158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7779318929645023635.post-86281821956036276552011-02-17T17:26:00.001+05:002011-02-17T17:27:28.514+05:00Adele Takes Fans Into A Relationship On 21<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="httphttp://keeprelationships.blogspot.com/2011/02/adele-takes-fans-into-relationship-on.html"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 500px;" src="http://www.keeprelationships.com/userfiles/2011/2/17/images/Adele%20Takes%20Fans%20Into%20A%20Relationship%20On%2021.jpg" border="0" alt="Adele Takes Fans Into A Relationship On 21" /></a>British singer/songwriter Adele says she has fallen in and out of love twice, one love per album. Named for her age, Adele's new album "21" depicts a matured woman, one who has lost love but has gained a sense of self-worth.<br /><br />In a throaty alto, Adele sings of emotional abuse, of addiction and of the remnants of relationships. The 11 tracks on "21" take listeners into a relationship - its highs, its lows and its very lows - and out the other side. Adele launched onto the musical scene in 2008 with her debut album "19." In 2009, she won Grammy awards in the categories of Best New Artist and Best Female Pop Vocal Performance.<br /><div class="fullpost"><br />"21" debuts in the U.S. on Feb. 22. It has been the top-selling album in the United Kingdom for the past three weeks. The album's first single, "Rolling in the Deep," was released on Nov. 29. With bluesy vocals and a penetrating rhythm, the song portrays the breaking point in a relationship, said Adele in a video interview published on her website.<br /><br />"[The song is] my reaction to being told my life was going to be boring and lonely and rubbish and that I was a weak person if I didn't stay in the relationship," said Adele. "So I was very insulted, and this was my way of saying 'F* you.'"<br /><br />"Rolling in the Deep" also embodies a turning point in Adele's career. Co-written and produced by British producer Paul Epworth, the song gives this historically pop vocalist an indie edge. Its driving percussion is akin to that of Florence and the Machine (who have also worked with Epworth).<br /><br />Adele credits this change in her sound to the bus driver on her American tour for "19.""He would be rocking out to all this amazing country and blues and gospel and bluegrass, and I was constantly like, 'Who's this? Where's this from,'" said Adele in an interview with MSN.<br /><br />Adele said this "musical education" can be particularly heard in the track "Rumor Has It," which was written about the gossipy nature of some of her friends. Unlike in "19," which Adele describes as "moody" and relying heavily on heartfelt ballads, "21" examines failed relationships from an adult's perspective. No longer the victim, Adele takes responsibility for her transgressions in the relationship.<br /><br />In the track "Don't You Remember," she sings "I know I have a fickle heart and bitterness/And a wandering eye, and a heaviness in my head." Despite this admission, Adele urges the object of the song to remember why he loved her before the break-up.<br /><br />Remembrance is a common theme on this full-length. As she copes with her failed relationship, she holds tight onto its memories. In "Rolling in the Deep," she calls on the "scars of your love" as a reminder of what could have been. In "Someone Like You," she begs an old love not to forget her after he has found someone new.<br /><br />The most emotionally-charged track on "21," "He Won't Go," tells the story of a couple whose relationship is strained by a heroin addiction. Adele, who wrote the song from the perspective of the woman who is in love with the addict, questions, "Will he still love me even when he's free/ Or will he go back to the place where he'll choose the poison over me?" Ultimately, she decides that she "is willing to take the risk."<br /><br />Despite a new sound and a new outlook, the album "21," like the previous, is about heartbreak. "The guy from '21,' it was actually an amazing relationship," said Adele. "It was really intense and really amazing. It just fell apart and stopped being fun."<br /><br />"21" is her way of grappling with that fact. There is nothing novel about its themes or lyrics; they are simply the words of a broken heart. Yet, in their simplicity so too resides their strength. If nothing else, her songs are relatable. For, as she sings in "Someone Like You," "Sometimes it lasts in love/But sometimes it hurts instead."<br /></div>CrAzY mAnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14141815023194580158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7779318929645023635.post-57043372159556116772011-02-10T18:04:00.001+05:002011-02-10T18:04:19.366+05:00Work pressure 'hits relationships'Almost one in three people have been in a relationship which has suffered because of work pressures, according to a new study. A survey of 2,000 workers by the Institution of Occupational Safety and Health (IOSH) found that a poor work-life balance could "drive a wedge" between partners.<br /><br />Of the 29% who said they had been affected by a poor work-life balance, the main problems were long working hours and high workloads. Dr Luise Vassie, executive director of policy at IOSH, said: "The struggle to achieve a good work-life balance is an ever growing issue in today's society. It seems that too many of us are letting work take hold of our lives - and our home life is often suffering as a result.<br /><div class="fullpost"><br />"People are working harder than ever, but as our results show, too many are seeing their relationships outside of work suffer as a consequence. This isn't solely a problem for the employee - an unhappy worker is often an unproductive one. Almost two thirds of those questioned said their work-life balance was poor or could be better.<br /></div>CrAzY mAnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14141815023194580158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7779318929645023635.post-54781200514544116232011-02-05T20:48:00.000+05:002011-02-05T20:48:00.485+05:00Talking styles predict relationship success?People who speak in similar styles are more compatible, according to a new study. People tend to be attracted to, date, and marry other people who resemble themselves in terms of personality, values, and physical appearance. However, these features only skim the surface of what makes a relationship work. The ways that people talk are also important.<br /><br />The study focused on words called "function words." These aren't nouns and verbs; they're the words that show how those words relate. They're hard to explicitly define, but we use them all the time-words like the, a, be, anything, that, will, him, and and.<br /><div class="fullpost"><br />How we use these words constitutes our writing and speaking style, says study co-author James Pennebaker of the University of Texas at Austin. "Function words are highly social and they require social skills to use. For example, if I'm talking about the article that's coming out, and in a few minutes I make some reference to ''the article,'' you and I both know what the article means," said Pennebaker.<br /><br />Pennebaker, Molly Ireland, and their colleagues examined whether the speaking and writing styles couples adopt during conversation with each other predict future dating behaviour and the long-term strength of relationships.<br /><br />They conducted two experiments in which a computer program compared partners' language styles. In the first study, pairs of college students had four-minute speed dates while their conversations were recorded.<br /><br />Every conversation sounded more or less the same to the naked ear, but text analysis revealed stark differences in language synchrony.<br /><br />The pairs whose language style matching scores were above average were almost four times as likely to want future contact as pairs whose speaking styles were out of sync. A second study revealed the same pattern in everyday online chats between dating couples over the course of 10 days.<br /><br />Almost 80 per cent of the couples whose writing style matched were still dating three months later, compared with approximately 54 per cent of the couples who didn't match as well.<br /><br />What people are saying to each other is important, but how they are saying it may be even more telling. People aren't consciously synchronizing their speech, said Pennebaker.<br /><br />"What's wonderful about this is we don't really make that decision; it just comes out of our mouths," added Pennebaker. The study was published in Psychological Science , a journal of the Association for Psychological Science.<br /></div>CrAzY mAnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14141815023194580158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7779318929645023635.post-17732411839689336902011-02-04T12:33:00.001+05:002011-02-04T12:33:12.362+05:00Exposing teen relationship abuseBy the time you finish reading this sentence, a woman somewhere will have been abused. And there's a chance she could be a teenage girl. Teen dating violence does not exist in specific neighborhoods or cultures.<br /><br />It's not gender-exclusive. MTV's "Teen Mom" star Amber Portwood often verbally abused her child's father, Gary Shirley, long before she punched him in front of their baby. One in five high school students report being abused or sexually assaulted by their partner - 1.5 million annually.<br /><div class="fullpost"><br />High school students from Blue Valley Northwest, Olathe North and Olathe Northwest in Kansas City are working with domestic violence shelter Safehome to produce "The Outrage," an educational performance piece that addresses dating violence and sexual assault among teens. It pushes its audiences to take a stand.<br /><br />The students wear black shirts and make a visual statement through stark statistics and severe dating scenarios. When they tell you outrage is in this room, they are speaking the truth. Of the eight students performing, half of them have either been in an abusive relationship or they know someone who has.<br /><br />"People like to pretend it doesn't happen in Johnson County, but it so does," says Allison Basinger, the education and prevention advocate for Safehome and the creator of the play. It happens everywhere.<br /><br />The group performs for middle schools, high schools, parenting groups and churches. At almost every performance for students, a kid comes forward to disclose abuse. According to the Kansas Bureau of Investigations, 20.7 percent of sexual violence victims are between 10 and 14 years old and 25.8 percent are 15 to 19.<br /><br />February, known as the month of love, is also Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month. Trent Fleener, 17-year-old junior and member of the performance troupe, says too many people are unaware of the facts. "It's a serious issue," he says. "And people don't know it. They don't know these statistics. I joined the group because it's too big of a deal not to take a stand."<br /><br />Another performer, Sarah Cohen, says she was in an abusive relationship. She says one of the biggest challenges students face is they don't know whom to talk to or how to get out of it. "It's important to recognize the signs and walk away," says Sarah, 16, a sophomore at Blue Valley Northwest. "Performing has given me the confidence to help myself and help others, too."<br /><br />The "Outrage" actors are trained to talk to peers about relationship violence. Priyanka Rao says performing has been an eye-opener. She walks down the halls at school and hears name-calling and sees pushing among couples. Some people think it's harmless. She sees red flags.<br /><br />"I think if you turn that up to the next level, it could lead to dating violence. You want to stop it before it goes there. A lot of times students do things because they want to be cool.<br /><br />"That's one of the biggest issues, defining what's cool. You shouldn't have to compromise your morals and your ethics to be cool. Speaking out, that is cool."Priyanka is right about the importance of prevention. And Allison Basinger says these early relationships can easily develop into a lifelong cycle if we don't begin to have conversations and end the violence.<br /><br />"If you're in an abusive relationship in middle school, the pattern of behavior is likely to continue in high school and so on. Teen dating violence is domestic violence that hasn't grown up yet," she says. TEEN DATING VIOLENCE: If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, there are lots of resources to help.<br /></div>CrAzY mAnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14141815023194580158noreply@blogger.com0