Online love leads to marriage

Psychologist Travis Gee met his wife on a free online dating site where she'd posted a profile after being laid low with swine flu. "She was bored enough that she put a profile up and I messaged her," he says. "She had nothing else to do, so she responded to my messages."The rest, as they say, is history.

The relationship moved to Skype, where the couple had almost daily face-to-face conversations over several months. In September, Gee flew to Tokyo with an engagement ring. The couple married in November and now live in Brisbane.

Gee is one of the one in 10 internet daters who, according to a new survey, have married someone they met online. One in four Australians have used online dating, according to the survey carried out by market research company Nielsen for the Australian online dating agency RSVP, which is owned by Fairfax Media,

RSVP started in 1997 as Australia's first mainstream internet dating site and now has more than 1,600,000 members with more than 1000 new profiles created each day.

It competes with other local and overseas "serious" dating sites as well as a raft of niche options for anyone ranging from the religious to those in search of an extra-marital fling.

RSVP's Date of the Nation report surveyed 7000 Australians from the general population over four months.

The survey revealed that 25 per cent of us have used an online dating site. More than half the people who have used a dating site (63 per cent) ending up dating someone they met online.

A third of those (34 per cent) had a short term relationship and 16 per cent had a long term relationship.

Nine per cent ended up marrying their online match and three per cent became parents.

Fifteen per cent of all relationships formed last year were the result of online dating.

The survey suggests that people using online dating sites are after more than a quick hook-up, with 72 per cent saying they were looking for a long-term relationship.

Lija Jarvis, a spokeswoman for RSVP, says the survey shows that internet dating has lost its stigma and has become just another way of meeting someone.

"You meet through bars, you meet through your friends, you meet through work functions and you meet online," she says.

"It's quite synonymous with a smart option for meeting."

Jarvis says people are more comfortable about putting themselves up on internet dating sites because social networking has changed the way we feel about sharing information about ourselves.

"The boom in social networking sites has reframed how we see information on line, profiles on line, how you portray yourself on line," she says.

John Aiken, a relationship expert and consultant to RSVP, also says attitudes to online dating are changing.

"People are using it now not for fun and flirty casual types of experimentation, but rather they are saying `I think this is a great way of finding someone special that's going to last long term'," he says.

He says using the internet to find a partner has many benefits.

"You can overcome distance barriers, if you're shy it's a great way of getting to meet people, there's lots of selection and you get to set your own criteria, which is quite empowering."

But finding love online isn't for everyone. Every day 40 people take their profiles off RSVP because they haven't met their match, the site says.

And using the internet doesn't mean the dating game will be any easier.

Gee says he encountered his fair share of false starts and disappointments before finding his match.

"I met someone that I thought was going to be long term but turned out not to be ... and I've had a few dismal experiences along the way," he says.

"I met a few people that just didn't click, I got stood up a few times before I met my wife.

"I look at (online dating sites) as a means to meeting people you might not otherwise meet. But you still have to do the legwork and meet face to face because there's an awful lot that you just can't get from a dating site.

"Obviously there's fakers and scammers out there you do have to be very careful."

INTERNET DATING CHEAT SHEET FOR NEWBIES

- Don't use an old photo, you'll only get caught out.

- Don't lie about yourself but at the same time make sure your profile isn't dull - make yourself stand out.

- Don't give out personal details like address and phone number until you've met in real life and you're sure about who they are.

- Don't jump into things - take your time.

- Don't make any financial commitments, for example don't send money for airfares.

- Be aware that people can be less than honest about themselves online.

- You may find yourself overwhelmed by choices, going from not dating anyone to juggling six dates in a week.

- Just as you may have a large number of dates, you may also have to face a large number of knock-backs.

RELATIONSHIPS: WHAT WE'RE LOOKING FOR

We might be using new technology to find that special person, but the RSVP survey found Aussies still hold traditional values when it comes to love and marriage.

Three quarters of Australians want to spend their lives with one person and more than half see marriage as an important institution.

It found more men (78 per cent) than women (70 per cent) aspire to settling down and spending their life with one partner and 54 four per cent of single men and 46 per cent of single women have aspirations to marry.

Personality, a sense of humour and "morals" were the top three criteria when looking for a partner.

The survey also looked at reasons for relationships going bust and found no surprises with growing apart, differing values and aspirations, and infidelity the top relationship busters.