On the couch

Money is a neutral object. It is rare, however, to find anybody who is neutral about money. Money taps into our need for security, sustenance and survival. It is, consequently, associated with status and power.

Your relationship with money is shaped by cultural and family values, and meanings attached to wealth. Personal associations and feelings about money have to do with issues like adequacy, dependency, entitlement and self-worth or the opposites of these attributes. Notice that you are feeling disrespected and taken for granted. Yet you are asking if your feelings are legitimate or whether you should dismiss them on the basis of "modern love".

Is modern love about not feeling valued, supported or treated as an equal partner?

Money is also a boundary that defines each person's role and responsibilities and what rightfully belongs to each partner. To establish equitable, comfortable boundaries, negotiate with your partner. Express your expectations about how things should work and ask your boyfriend about his. You can then negotiate the trade-offs that will accommodate differences.

If it is difficult to do then you need to look at your sense of self-worth and what you have to do to win the honour and respect of your spirit. - Leonard Carr

SUPERNANNY SAYS:

I think your boyfriend needs to sign up for my workshop called Romancing 101. The participants learn how actions speak louder than words, how to woo the woman you love and how to treat your partner with respect.

In all seriousness, you need to communicate how you feel. As 21st-century women, we have fought to be treated as equals in the workplace but we still want to be romanced, treated like a lady and appreciated by our partners.

When this does not happen, we feel taken for granted and then we start resenting the very person we care about.

If you value your relationship then you need to talk honestly to your boyfriend. Either he will respond with remorse for his actions - and then you can plan a more shared approach - or with lots of excuses, which will enable you to make a objective decision about whether you want to continue in this relationship.

What you are experiencing now is only a taste of what will happen in the future. You might feel that such a conversation will threaten the existence of the relationship. If so, then ask yourself if you want to live like this for the rest of your life.

Relationships are about sharing, caring and loving unconditionally. Does this ring true to you? - Stephanie Dawson-Cosser

QUESTION: Why do some people invest so much in their pets. Surely, they should first give to people?

SHRINK RAP SAYS:

IT IS interesting how the love of people and pets are seen to be at odds with each other, rarely combined in the same individual. People who seem to prefer animals to people tend to attribute human motivations and sentiments to animals. They believe that the animal's attachment to them is an authentic emotional bond based on deep understanding and unconditional acceptance of the owner.

People often compare what they believe to be the unconditional love of pets to the seemingly conditional love of people, who make demands, criticise foibles and can be challenging and even rejecting in the face of perceived failings. They act this belief out by, for example, leaving their estate to a cat shelter to punish children for not being as loyal and accepting as the cats.

A person who has a truly refined appreciation and reverence for life will understand the infinite value of a human being. They will also respect the human responsibility to safeguard, protect and show compassion to other creatures and life forms . - Leonard Carr

SUPERNANNY SAYS:

If all people had the same interests, behaved the same, thought the same, what a boring place this world would be. Imagine a world without animals, wildlife, national parks and reserves, and family pets. As human beings, if we only cared about our own species, what kind of world would we live in?

While I agree that there are many people in need of basic requirements in our country and continent, animals have their place too.

There are individuals who appear to care more about their pets than relationships with people because pets seem to love their owner unconditionally. Many animals are used in healing therapies with children and adults who are disabled or have had traumatic experiences in their lives.