Relationship Problems Can Make You Wonder If Relationships Are Really All Worth It.
Like most things in life successful relationships are something you have to work at. Sharing your life with someone else can be hard work at times. Juggling all the balls, relationship, work and family can become a minefield that many of us find too hard to negotiate. It's all too easy to let all those relationship problems get on top of you and just give up at the first hurdle.
What many people find hard to deal with is that a relationship comes with two halves that have to fit together and work, like a well oiled machine. While everything is new and exciting and commitment is a long way off relationships tend to work well, generally it's still easy to think of yourself except for those special dates, your life is still your own and you still feel in control. Once a person has committed to a long term relationship, problems seem to set in with one or both partners feeling trapped and controlled. How often do you hear of relationships that work really well until the wedding day but then everything goes wrong, I've known people that have lived together for years but once that ring goes on the finger the panic sets in. I know one person who has been engaged for over 25 years, the relationship works well and they are happy but they both have a mental block, an absolute fear of taking things any further.
Relationship problems often arise when there is an imbalance in the way things a perceived. Couples often forget that everyone is different, each individual sees things from a different perspective and there is always more than one side to every story. Resolving relationship problems requires that each person is prepared to view a situation from the other's perspective. Couples have to move away from the one sided stance, move beyond the thinking that they are always right and no one else counts. Finding a resolution to relationship problems means applying some give and take and maybe going down a completely different route that amalgamates the thoughts and ideas from both sides.
No relationship is likely to give you everything you need, very few people have the ability to get absolutely everything they want out of life but then if life was so easy wouldn't it be boring. Compromise is so important learning to differentiate between what really counts and what doesn't really matter at the end of the day. Relationship problems often develop from hearing but not listening to what your partner has to say. Not communicating, not caring what anyone else want but just go down one single blinkered route.
I was talking to someone the other day and their relationship was struggling from one of the really big issues that rear's its head time and time again. She wants a baby and he doesn't. Not an easy one to sort out now, two years down the line of a long term relationship. This is a relationship problem that comes from the lack of communication at the outset. He said ‘I don't want children at least for a long while' and she read it as ‘we'll think about it in a couple of years'. He meant probably not but maybe eventually and she just turned it into something she wanted to hear. My advice on this particular issue is to make sure you are both singing off the same hymn sheet from the outset. Children are a major commitment that some people are just not attuned to cope with and with something that is such a major responsibility and requires 100% commitment you have to take the time and effort to make it clear at the start.
Relationships are worth it, even the hardest among us need someone to care for and care about them at that end of the day. Life is all about people, relationships and love, doing everything your own way just makes you selfish, ungiving and thoughtless. Don't throw away something special just because you aren't prepared to reach a compromise. Focus on the good things and the things that really matter and if the going gets too tough don't be afraid or too proud to seek advice for any relationship problems you may have.
0 comments:
Post a Comment